Sexual Self Care / Hysterectomy WTF?

My surgeon said no sex for six weeks. I made her qualify that by asking, “No penetrative sex, right?” She said, “Yes, nothing in your vagina.” Ok. I can deal with that.

Y’all know sex is an important part of my life. Affection is equally important in my relationship, so I feel like we can deal with both the short term and long term obstacles that are ahead.

I go a little stir crazy with waiting and speculating. To combat this I plan and prepare so I can be ready for the best possible outcome after surgery. I decided to make sure that all my favorite things, and the things that will support my sexual well being, are ready when I am. Here’s what’s in my kit:

I bought this ice pack and some underthings that will help me heal after surgery. I also bought some sexy panties. (Sexy panties rule the world. If you wear them, you also rule the world.)

I have my Warm ready. This is a beautiful sex toy warming system. Designed so thoughtfully, you just open one side, slide your toys in, and they are warmed to a very comfortable level. It’s perfect for those of us who have survived medical trauma in the pelvis (like me), the trauma of sexual assault, or anything that inhibits one’s ability to accept penetration with ease. Warm will make your toys soothing and will turn any toy or massage tool into a more sensual experience.

There are only two toys I have added to the kit. The Sola Cue, as it’s my favorite external toy. I have also added the softer Limon, in case the Cue is too much sensation post-surgery.

I also added my Water Slyde to my self-care kit. You read my full review to understand why it’s such a great self-care tool.

I also added this Inspire Silicone Dilator Set. These penetrative toys have a simple curve that aligns perfectly with the vaginal anatomy. They are smooth, silicone, and easy to clean. They are pliable and not rigid like the other hard plastic or glass dilation sets I have seen.

I tested these toys on my body this week so I can understand the state of my body before surgery and compare it to how well the toys work after surgery. I may also need to use them to expand my ability to receive penetration after surgery. Here’s  a video I made of them last year, long before I knew I would need them myself.

I still need to define which lubes I will stock. With my extensive understanding of personal lubricants, now I need to look at them all with fresh eyes an consider what it is to use a lubricant once I have lost my cervix and natural wetness. I think I’ll do a separate, more comprehensive post on that topic.


3 thoughts on “Sexual Self Care / Hysterectomy WTF?”

  • DeDe, thank you SO much for creating this blog and making your friends and loved ones a part of your journey. I’m quite grateful to be included and it will keep me updated on you during your treatment and recovery without making feel intrusive or bothersome. Thank you. <3 Also, I love your writings and I love this blog. xo-M

    PS- Your "Hi, tiny." in the dilator video is ADORABLE. Great info. You are so good at what you do!

  • When you have the time and energy, I’d love to see your current thoughts on lube. You’re the lubiest lube expert I know – learned most everything I know about it from you – so I’m eager to hear what you have to say…and I know you have great goodness to offer the world on this subject. Love you.

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