Yup… I stepped off the ledge and talk about all sorts of things, including dildos, strap-on harnesses, surviving cancer, and caring for assault survivors. We packed a lot into the conversation! It’s Just Ducky! In town from New York, it’s the triumphant return of renowned sex […]
Last month I struggled with a sense of aimlessness. I am now about five months into remission and that feeling still exists to some extent but has been overtaken by a sense of doom. Thankfully I am not moving through my days feeling depressed. I […]
I’m presenting ‘Sex For Survivors: Healing After Trauma’ at Smitten Kitten. There will be limited seats but please know getting there is the hardest part. Once we start, there’s lots of love and ideas for how to squeeze more out of your lovely life.
April 9, 2018 at 8pm
Sex For Survivors: Healing After Trauma
Tuning out? Finding it difficult to be present during intimacy? These are very common survival techniques for anyone who has survived domestic violence, sexual abuse, sexual assault, and other forms of abuse and trauma. Join Ducky, herself a survivor and a Sexual Assault and Violence Intervention Counselor, as we explore ways of growing beyond the trauma. In a safe and non-judgmental environment, you are invited to discuss common issues survivors face or simply listen to inspiring ideas on how you might find more pleasure, become more conscious in your body, build confidence, bond with your partner, embrace your desires, and explore healing through touch.
This workshop is free. Call or email to reserve a spot: email@example.com
Who belongs here?: Almost everyone. Over the years, I have learned that earth is a heavy place to be. With a little nudge, I find almost everyone is surviving something. Be it a past sexual assault, incest, intimate partner violence, a divorce, cancer, a partner in Iraq or Afghanistan, injury, the death of a loved one… life is tough. Our world does not encourage us to face these things head on… but instead to smile along and pretend as though everything’s peachy. But truth be told, that’s not always true. So if you question whether you belong here, I assure you that you do; if not as a survivor yourself, then as an ally of survivors.
Howdy! Welcome to my February roundup. You can by the date that I almost missed it this month! Working in the sex toy industry means I get clobbered with work every February by perverted Valentines who need vibrating doo-dads. Bless their hearts. __________YUM__________ I am […]
I must admit, I have a lot of admiration for jessica and her work as an activist and educator. We have shared the stage together on a sex education conference keynote panel. We bump into each other as we present at corporate engagements and industry expos and conferences.
I knew she was golden if not only for her sex education work but also for the time, energy and money she gives to good causes like youth in peril, rebuilding homes in Haiti, or suicide prevention. When we can we have these fleeting moments of fangirling each other. Or if we are lucky these deep connective conversations about home life, sex ed or growing up rough. She intelligent and has a heart of gold.
I learn just how golden her heart is when I started cancer treatment. She delivered a big box to my home. This box was full of warmth. So thoughtfully packed with the self-care items only a true survivor and self-care expert could have sent.
I was already deeply committed to a few self-care practices. I was working from home to reduce stress and keep my immune system strong before surgery. I was practicing restorative yoga. I was reading a lot and doing lots of breathing exercises. (They say breath is life, I was spinning so hard that at times all I had was my breath.)
jessica added to my practices by introducing me to aromatherapy. I would NEVER have engaged with aromatherapy but in those cancer treatment days– all doors to healing were flung open. The little bottles she sent me with names like fortify and pain release seemed reasonable to me. The peppermint halo for headaches worked extraordinarily well!
The eucalyptus spray she sent, made to spritz in the shower and clear the sinuses, did wonders after a round of tears. She even sent an atomizer that sends relaxing lavender oil wafting up into the air. It all worked. It all soothed me. And with every scent she introduced me to, with every application, I felt like I could hear her saying, “You are important and you are not alone.” (Thank you for this jessica.)
It makes sense when you think about it. If the scent of your grandmother’s banana bread can flood your mind with good memories. The scent of your lover’s shampoo can make your heart sing. The smell of hospital can bring panic. Scents really do have power.
So, in the end, there are a lot of reasons I grow more and more fond of jessica. One of them is that she teaches me things. She has taught me how to better care for myself and how to be a better friend. I trust her. She is thoughtful, follows her heart, and asks for nothing in return. I look forward to many more years of growing our friendship.
(This is part three of a series where I get to say thank you. I have a lot of people to be thankful for.)
Now that I have beaten cancer (OMG that feels so good to say!) I will start blogging about how I manage my medical bills, the insurance company, and the VA. (My husband is a disabled combat veteran. I figure there are more vets and those who love them that can benefit from my experience.) Managing medical bills is not exciting, but valuable. Perhaps I can help people this way?
I am accountable to you and you can watch my progress here. You can donate here. Every dollar over what I need for my bills will be given to another yet-to-be-determined person in need of help with medical bills. When we meet that goal, I’ll let y’all suggest who that person may be.
In the meantime, my mind is blown by how generous people have been and by how much you care. I still have a long way to go to get these bills cared for but I feel so empowered by you. THANK YOU!
Even if you can’t give money, to share the campaign also helps so much.
This is a timeline of my healing process. I’m creating it to remind myself how far I have come and to help other people who experience a robotic, radical hysterectomy to know what they might expect. Doctor’s say it should be six weeks until I am fully […]