I am a dumb workaholic who tries to do too much every day, hence this note to my future self. I’ll add to this and refer to this to try to keep myself from being an uncontrollable nut after I have my surgery. Wish me […]
Tag: medical care
My surgeon said no sex for six weeks. I made her qualify that by asking, “No penetrative sex, right?” She said, “Yes, nothing in your vagina.” Ok. I can deal with that.
Y’all know sex is an important part of my life. Affection is equally important in my relationship, so I feel like we can deal with both the short term and long term obstacles that are ahead.
I go a little stir crazy with waiting and speculating. To combat this I plan and prepare so I can be ready for the best possible outcome after surgery. I decided to make sure that all my favorite things, and the things that will support my sexual well being, are ready when I am. Here’s what’s in my kit:
I have my Warm ready. This is a beautiful sex toy warming system. Designed so thoughtfully, you just open one side, slide your toys in, and they are warmed to a very comfortable level. It’s perfect for those of us who have survived medical trauma in the pelvis (like me), the trauma of sexual assault, or anything that inhibits one’s ability to accept penetration with ease. Warm will make your toys soothing and will turn any toy or massage tool into a more sensual experience.
I also added this Inspire Silicone Dilator Set. These penetrative toys have a simple curve that aligns perfectly with the vaginal anatomy. They are smooth, silicone, and easy to clean. They are pliable and not rigid like the other hard plastic or glass dilation sets I have seen.
I tested these toys on my body this week so I can understand the state of my body before surgery and compare it to how well the toys work after surgery. I may also need to use them to expand my ability to receive penetration after surgery. Here’s a video I made of them last year, long before I knew I would need them myself.
I still need to define which lubes I will stock. With my extensive understanding of personal lubricants, now I need to look at them all with fresh eyes an consider what it is to use a lubricant once I have lost my cervix and natural wetness. I think I’ll do a separate, more comprehensive post on that topic.
I am still waiting for my surgery. In the meantime, I do art. I use these beautiful markers that have tips like paint brushes. I have two crochet projects. I catch up on TV show in chunks. Thankfully my husband has a real knack for […]
Last week I publicly shared my cancer diagnosis. That was scary as fuck.
Since then my husband and I went to a follow-up appointment with my first surgeon. He set us up with the next surgeon. She is supposed to be good, uses robotics and is as noninvasive as possible. I’m happy to hear my cancer specialist is a female. Studies show patients who are cared for by a female surgeon leave the hospital sooner and live longer. They are not sure if that is because female surgeons are better or if healthier patients choose female doctors. It’s kind of a chick/egg situation. But fuck it, I am hedging all bets.
Now we wait for that consultation and then they will schedule the surgery. There is a lot of hurry up and wait. The prognosis is good. The cancer looks contained. They will know for sure once they remove some parts of me that I can live without and some lymph nodes. They will look at those bits and be able to give us a stage and let us know if radiation is needed. The waiting sucks tho!
My husband’s mum is gonna come stay with us while we go through this. So if you are the praying type, we just pray that the surgery will care for the issue and then it’s all blue skies and cupcakes from there on.
In the meantime, life goes on. I did the laundry yesterday. Groceries will happen today. We will stop at this pond on the way and feed this pack of birds I have gotten to know. They don’t like healthy stuff, like oats and seeds so I have given in and feed them Cheerios.
It’s not all beautiful tho, for sure. Yesterday the stress became so unbearable that all of my muscles from my hips to my knees were seizing up. I had to lay around with a heating pad for a while and then stretch them out. It felt like I had the flu. At the end of the day, I did this Restore & Rejuvenate yoga class. I am going to just do it every day for a while. See if I can cure some of the stress.
Beyond that, I have been reading, writing here, and managed to make it work every day. Work is a good distraction. All the love, videos, and photos of cute animals my friends have been sending on twitter and facebook are also helping. Thanks, my friends.
(Photo of my feet in my Fight Like a Girl socks, next to my alley cat who has gotten real soft from living indoors with me.)
I can’t tell you much about Jo. She was a Holocaust survivor, having been freed from Auschwitz concentration camp in her early teens. She couch-surfed through Europe, hopped a boat to America, and eventually landed with her extended family in New Jersey. When I met her […]